I grew up on a steady diet. My mom made peasant dishes like risotto, casseroles, frittata, chicken piccata and other tasty food. It was inexpensive, and we were not rich. I had a very high metabolism and ate many helpings of these meals with great delight. Her cooking was filling and healthy.

I also subsisted on an appetite fed by sin. Looking at pornography, lusting after the ladies, seeking fame and fortune, and eager to enjoy sports, books and movies, but caring nothing for The Lord, I even mocked television preachers. Some of them may have been charlatans, but I was very ignorant with regard to the things of God. I’m think I could also be kind and generous because of my parents’ teaching, but my perspective on life needed some help.

I suffered for decades with fear, anxiety and depression. I feared natural disasters and violence, but most of my fears were of nuclear war. I had reason to fear, as the arms race was intense.

I had social anxiety. I think this was caused in part by not having a dad until the age of eight, and partly by my sin around sexual fantasies. I dropped out of school because I had too many disturbing thoughts when in social situations and school was the worst environment for prolonged and claustrophobic social gatherings.

I became depressed because I wanted to grow up to have a wife and children, but I couldn’t relate to women properly, in part due to my fantasy life and the shame it created.

In my twenties, my fear, anxiety, and depression only increased. By the time I reached my forties it was at a fever pitch.

When I found Christ in my twenties, my fears began to be supplanted by God’s love, truth, and righteousness, but I didn’t clean up my whole life until well into my fifties. I am not perfect today, but am really trying to surrender my whole will to Jesus’ will.

The more I give my agenda up for God’s, the more freedom and blessings He gives me, so as I age and as my physical body is in decline, God provides more good circumstances than I would enjoy if I didn’t try to yield to His will.

Is it ironic that the more we surrender to God’s leading, the more freedom and peace we actually have? I grew up on a FAD diet, of fear, anxiety, and depression, but am very blessed to have fewer issues with those troubles, the more I live for Jesus.

Yes, I’ve taken medication, been hospitalized and received therapy for my illnesses, but walking with the Lord is the reason for my recovery:

1 Corinthians 3:6

⁶ I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.

How has FAD impacted you? And have you looked to God to help you? Please leave any comments below. Thanks for reading my post.